Chopstork http://www.chopstork.com/blog Coming soon to a restaurant near you. Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:53:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1 en The demise of the outhouse. http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/12/26/the-demise-of-the-outhouse/ http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/12/26/the-demise-of-the-outhouse/#comments Tue, 26 Dec 2006 13:34:16 +0000 some dude Whateverpooptoilet http://www.chopstork.com/wordpress/2006/12/26/the-demise-of-the-outhouse/ When they first figured out that they could put toilets inside the house—whatever that impetus was (gas catcher? indoor plumbing?)—do you think they said, “Sweet, I can poop in my own home,” or, “Why the hell would I want to crap inside my house?”

]]> http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/12/26/the-demise-of-the-outhouse/feed/ TSA: Threat Level Change for the Aviation Sector http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/08/10/tsa-threat-level-change-for-the-aviation-sector/ http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/08/10/tsa-threat-level-change-for-the-aviation-sector/#comments Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:23:19 +0000 some dude Whateverairplanespeepoopthreat leveltoilet http://www.chopstork.com/wordpress/2006/08/10/tsa-threat-level-change-for-the-aviation-sector/ No liquids on airplanes now because of this terrorist plot. But I’ve already figured out how the terrorists will circumvent the new restrictions: Explosive urine. Pee in the sink, mix it with your explosive diarrhea, BOOM!

]]> http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/08/10/tsa-threat-level-change-for-the-aviation-sector/feed/ Porta-potty preposterousness http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/07/06/porta-potty-preposterousness/ http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/07/06/porta-potty-preposterousness/#comments Thu, 06 Jul 2006 20:21:11 +0000 some dude Whatevercrazyjapspooptoiletvideo http://www.chopstork.com/wordpress/2006/07/06/porta-potty-preposterousness/ Aaaahahahahaha. Those crazy japs. This could have happened to me in Kyoto. I’d crap my pants. Except I’d really just crap the crapper.

Needless to say, Japan is not a litigious society. By the way, at the end of the video, the girl says the thing cost about $44,000 (Yen 5,000,000) to make.

]]> http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/07/06/porta-potty-preposterousness/feed/ Toilet ants http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/05/10/toilet-ants/ http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/05/10/toilet-ants/#comments Thu, 11 May 2006 00:19:31 +0000 some dude Whateverantstoiletwork http://www.chopstork.com/wordpress/2006/05/10/toilet-ants/ There are ants crawling on one of the toilets in the bathroom at work.  That’s somewhat disturbing.  Today’s lesson:  Don’t poo in the middle stall; if you do, you will get antsies in your pantsies.

]]> http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/05/10/toilet-ants/feed/ Analysis of a Poop Smear http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2005/06/25/analysis-of-a-poop-smear/ http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2005/06/25/analysis-of-a-poop-smear/#comments Sat, 25 Jun 2005 12:21:15 +0000 some dude Whateverhumorpoopscience is funtoilet http://www.chopstork.com/wordpress/2005/07/07/analysis-of-a-poop-smear/ Yeah yeah, another writing about poo? Tell people to quit leaving their crap (literally) everywhere and I’ll stop writing about it.

There was a semicircular smudge of what I assume was poo on the toilet seat. WHY?

The figure below shows a toilet with it’s critical dimension, the hole. Also shown is the mating part, the mystery pooper. Let’s call it a press fit for the poo in the person. The goal here is to clear the toilet’s hole. Diameter of the hole is nominally 8.5 in. 8.5 - 1.0 = 7.5 MMC. 7.5 - .5 = 7 virtual condition. Poo is 1.0 + .5 = 1.5 on the big side. 7 - 1.5 = 5.5 inches. Mystery pooper has to hit a 5.5 inch target at worst. If he poops smaller, he can be that much further off-center. That is very doable. Millions of people do it every day. There should be no poo on the toilet seat. Please.

toiletcropped

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