Chopstork

The morning after our Real World party ants were feasting on spilled beer and food in the living room. A little cleanup and Terro wiped them out. Or so I thought. This weekend we noticed ants here and there in the bedroom, which means there’s a line of them marching along nearby. In looking around for the food source, I picked up some dirty clothes to reveal a few ants gathered around a chunk of something on the floor. Great, I crumbed beef jerky in the bedroom. …Nope. It was big honkin chunk of scab. My scab. From where I skinned my knee at the Real World party. Gross.

There were two used tapes from the confessional booth Sunday morning. I thought that was weird since there were only two new tapes left out of a five-pack. Hmm… We watched the two tapes, and they each only had 2 minutes on them. Someone took one of the tapes. What a dick move!

Oh wait, nooow I remember—I switched the first tape, and I hid it. Don’t worry, I found it eventually. You’ll get to see the clips…some day. How many more things do I not remember from the party?

Ran down to the corner during the beer run, got tired, and lay down on the sidewalk to take a nap. Check. Thanks, Janelle for waking me up.

Started the feud with Eli—he said, “180 degrees … or pi radians,” in reference to flippy cups. So I punched him. Check. I could have sworn he started it with his head butting. In the end Red Strawberry beat me up as his proxy.

Break danced in the foyer. Check.

Wrastled Zach. Actually that one I did remember. I did it because Laura told me to. Then she told me to stop. Cuz she didn’t want him to get hurt.

And of course everyone remembers the biggest game of beer bump ever. Congratulations to Mr. Cross—the new Beer Bump Champion of the Universe.