Chopstork

On Sunday when you’re all hungover from our party, we can check out Pedal Monster by Cyclecide. They’re throwing a festival at the Mission Village Market at 18th & Alabama in the city—”a freakish, pedal-and-contraption-centric carnival of stupid and epic proportions.” Last time I saw them it was a circus-rodeo full of crazy bikes, bike-jousting, and pedal-powered carnival rides that you’re not quite sure are safe to ride. From their press release:

Featuring:
-Cyclecide Rides & Sideshow, with Skits, Mutant Bikes, Rodeo Clowns, and punk rock mariachi band Los Banos

-An Only In San Francisco Circus Midway, with Wrong-Way Bike Games, Ornery Clowns Doing Incredibly Stupid Things, and Hot Utra Gypsy Bellydancers Selling Raffle Tickets for Mutant Bikes and Other Prizes.

-Interclub Tallbike Jousting, as seen on TV and in the 2003 film-festival hit documentary *Too Dumb To Die* — contestants include Neanderthals from out-of-town bike tribes, Doyle the 2005 World Tallbike Jousting Champion, and Gorgar the Vain and Belligerent Urine-Eating Monster

-Pervitadora Records’ Glen Meadmore — the Hot, Horny, and Born-Again Singing Cowboy

-The Life-Size Mousetrap — the Rube Goldberg-inspired creation based on the children’s board game but instead of a net at the end there’s a 2-ton safe that smashes things. With three-a-day performances by sexy mice, cranky blue-collar clowns, and the one-woman-band Esmerelda Strange

The Disgusting Spectacle — a Giant Head Sculpture that Picks its Own Nose with an Equally Giant Pointy-Fingered Hand, Powered by a Human-Sized Hamster Wheel

BMX Ramp Competition and Flatland Expo Presented by First Rule

Kielbasa, the Accordion-Playing Lunch Lady