pants off dance off

Christine — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 05:25:34 +0000

Tonight while watching TV, I tried to change the channel to 45 (Spike, great channel), but screwed up and tried to reset by pressing 0. Somehow, the channel box read 504. I was expecting a blue screen, but instead I got THE LIFETIME MOVIE NETWORK! I immediately made sure Gina was aware of our good fortune. Curious and eager for more, we started flipping through more channels and got to 476 (FUSE). Never heard of it. Nor have we heard of Pants Off Dance Off, the show that was playing at the moment, but it is gold! The whole show is people stripping down (boxers, briefs, bras stay on) to popular music, while the audience votes for the best one. No stripper poles, no clear platform shoes, no hardcore T&A. But plenty of bad visual effects, mediocre looking people, questionable rhythm, and Justin Timberlake songs. Like I said, gold. Oh, and they also have interviews with the dancers, asking them such questions as, “what do you consider erotic?,” “what kind of dance do you like?” and, “when was the last time you danced naked?” Forget the ninja/pirate/knight/cowboy party. I want to throw a Pants Off Dance Off party.

On a rather unrelated note, does anybody know what an ass clown is? This saturday I heard AJ refer to Michael Bolton as a “no talent ass clown,” an expression I always enjoy. But the deep, soul-searching side of me went beyond the laughter to try to determine what exactly an ass clown is. I went to www.urbandictionary.com, and they supplied a myriad of definitions, but I don’t know if any one in particular is generally regarded as correct.

On a more related note, the guy dancing right now appears to be a no talent ass clown…

…Whoa, nevermind. He just keeps all his talent in his shorts. Wow.

“A Moment of Truth”

Christine — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 04:47:01 +0000

So, most of the girls/women I know — especially in this area — are pretty tough and practical. But every woman, no matter how smart or sporty, has some sort of trait that reaffirms her two X chromosomes. Take me, for example. I know a decent amount about football, and can even throw a spiral (somtimes). The first “bad boy” I ever fell for was Megatron, and I think I still know my way around the first and second quests of Zelda without a map. I have most of Spaceballs memorized. So what makes me such a girl? Not the ridiculous number of shoes I have, or the number of supplies in my office that are purple. Nope. It is my penchant for Made for Lifetime movies (not to be confused with the more ambiguous “made-for-TV” movies, although they do sometimes overlap, like in the classic Death of a Cheerleader). I don’t know if it is the sassy female protagonists, the too-suave-to-be-trusted male antagonists, the spoiled-brat-turned-jailbait-slut teenage daughters, or the fact that not every ending is happy, but I can’t get enough. Every once in a while I’ll turn on a Lifetime movie that doesn’t quite do it for me, but for the most part I sit patiently through the commercials, waiting for the estrogen to bring me justice. I’ve got a movie on right now, and even though I should go to bed, I can’t tear myself away. Guys (and some girls) have given me a lot of crap for this over the years, but I can’t change it. It’s irreversible… just like my raincoat.

Chopstork

pants off dance off

“A Moment of Truth”