Chopstork

The morning after our Real World party ants were feasting on spilled beer and food in the living room. A little cleanup and Terro wiped them out. Or so I thought. This weekend we noticed ants here and there in the bedroom, which means there’s a line of them marching along nearby. In looking around for the food source, I picked up some dirty clothes to reveal a few ants gathered around a chunk of something on the floor. Great, I crumbed beef jerky in the bedroom. …Nope. It was big honkin chunk of scab. My scab. From where I skinned my knee at the Real World party. Gross.

My uncle, Kerry: “I think I have something in my eye.”

(Yes, this is really my uncle. No, he does not really have a nail in his eye. He’s an actor; this is a clip from some safety-in-the-workplace video. Gross nonetheless.)