Chopstork

so I was digging around tonight trying to gather all my snowboard gear for Tahoe, and I came across my camelback. judging by its contents, the last time I used it was at Bay To Breakers (the vodka redbull served me well). anyway, at the very bottom of the zippered pouch was a crumpled up, thin cotton-and-nylon navy blue GAP windbreaker. I have no idea who it belongs to, but I’m hoping somebody reading this will claim it. (It is a very unisex-looking item, so I doubt Eli is interested). Courtney? Keri? Laura? I feel pretty dumb, because I can vaguely remember somebody asking me if I had this in my possession — an inquisition I denied. But I can’t remember who it was that asked. Would this be an acceptable time to play the Stroke Card?

In other news, I very much miss AJ and Laura. I have yet to make it to Old Man and Luke’s place, because said no-talent ass-clowns decided to move to bumblefuck. Considering how often they were too lazy to walk downhill to my place, I am definitely too lazy to walk uphill, over the river, and through the woods to get to theirs. Unless they get a ping pong table. Or another hot tub.

Speaking of laziness… Live from the couch, it’s Christine and Gina!! After failed trial periods with Netflix (mailboxes are hard to come by in this neighborhood), frustration with Blockbuster (too far + “restocking” fees = F no), and one or two unimpressive trips to the neighborhood video store, we have discovered the beauty that is Comcast On Demand. It is fantastic. For just four bucks, you don’t have to retrieve or return shit. You don’t even have to get up from the couch. All we need now are some shirtless men to cook us dinner while we catch up on all the movies we wanted to see…

Found a photo blog from one of the salmon that swim Bay to Breakers upstream.

This isn’t our group. It’s not even from this year. But it’s an awesome Bay to Breakers video:  Pirates.

Um, that’s a good question. Let’s see….

The meeting place:

We will meet at the corner of 3rd St. and Howard St. at 8:15 am Sunday to join the “race.” Note this is not the official starting area. Make sure you have a couple cell phone numbers to find people in case you’re late or things don’t go as planned. If you need my number, email me.

Alternatively, feel free to come up the night before and spend the night, or come to our house early Sunday and take the MUNI light rail to the race with us. We will leave our house no later than 7:30am to catch the 7:46am train at 24th and Church. Get off at the Powell or Montgomery St stations (we should be able to get off, since it will be after 8:00—if not, we will have to get off at either Duboce/Church or Embarcadero and walk a ways).

Getting stuff together:

I reckon we’ll be fixing up the carts Friday night and Saturday. Maybe we’ll grill some dinner Saturday if you wanna come over. Oh, and we’ll need to test and mix up batches of Ol’ Bessy’s “milk.” And I still want to go find large quantities of Boone’s Farm for one or two of her udders.

UPDATE:

By the way, bring beer and snacks.  Do not bring glass bottles or coolers (won’t fit in the cart).

During the course of creating our paper mache masterpiece for last year’s Bay to Breakers, we got into a discussion that we never really settled: You make a big volcano (or big cow) with buckets inside and tubes coming out through which you and your friends will suck hot molten magma (or “milk”). Which is easier to suck the magma/milk through—a fatter tube or a skinnier tube? Discuss.

Ah, great minds think alike—Armen, we’ve been working on the cow cart idea. Our first idea for a cart was a barn. But we need an alcohol delivery system. Thought about a trough on the barn, but sharing drinks from an open-air trough wasn’t appetizing. Plus that’s just begging for someone to pee in our drink. Carrying bottles of Boone’s is out cuz we dont’ want broken glass. One idea was to have a chicken with its head cut off, and the drink would squirt out of it’s neck like blood. But then Luke suggested drink coming out of cow udders. And why not make it an entire cart? After some group brainstorming, here are the plans. We’ll have both a barn and a cow cart.

For the uninitiated, Bay to Breakers is perhaps the most fun on the West Coast. Some 65 to 75 THOUSAND people run, walk, and party the race course throughout SF. Everyone is happy, mostly drunk, and definitely in great spirits. Last year our theme was tropical and included a volcano complete with yummy hot molten magma!

Check out the links below for more information.

• Bay to Breakers Website
• Bay to Breakers, San Francisco’s Biggest Party!
• Last Year 2005

Big Bird: “Did I get that right? Bay to Break-hers is on a Sunday this year? Nevertheless it is only two weeks away! Have you guys been scheming? Farm animals? Is the cart a barn? A hay bail? A cow? A tractor? There is some serious work to be done. What’s the plan?”

Indeed, there is serious work to be done.  We’ve been talking about a farm theme for a while, and I think that’s what we’re going with.  Here ye, here ye, our theme for this year’s Bay to Breakers is …

Boone’s Farm

Dress as a farm animal, a farm hand, a farmer, a farmer’s daughter, your favorite produce, a scarecrow, dorothy, a lion, a tiger, a bear, oh my!, a tractor, hay, a tornado, flat land, a pitch fork, a giant industrial potato factory, or anything else farm related.  Everyone’s invited!

p.s. Bay to Breakers is on Sunday, May 21.

This week the Picture of the Week goes to Jeanette, Jason, and Jen. The back drop is Bay to Breakers 2005, near the end of the “race”, and everyone lost and amuck somewhere. These three seem to be taking everything in stride. Of course, they’re all quite drunk.