Chopstork

It was on the radio and multiple people have emailed this story around today—it must be worth writing about: Flatulence forces emergency landing. I think the only thing to say about it is That blows! (Get it, “blows”?) You could also say the terrorists have won when we put flights into emergency landings because someone farted.

Comair flight 5191 apparently took off from the wrong runway at Blue Grass Airport and crashed. On the voice recorders was talk about only runway 22, the correct runway. But the plane took off from runway 26, which was too short. Articles have speculated that the taxiway may be confusing, the runway may be poorly marked, the weather reduced visibility, or recent construction may have altered the taxiway.

Shouldn’t the pilots still have recognized they were on the wrong runway? They would have been pointing in the wrong direction. Runway designations are based on their heading. They wouldn’t need to see a sign or even look at a map. Runway 22 points to 220 degrees (plus or minus 5 degrees). Runway 26 is at 260 degrees. I don’t know, I’m not a pilot … maybe checking your heading is not part of the routine for take off. I guess the NTSB will figure out what went wrong soon enough.

No liquids on airplanes now because of this terrorist plot. But I’ve already figured out how the terrorists will circumvent the new restrictions: Explosive urine. Pee in the sink, mix it with your explosive diarrhea, BOOM!