Chopstork

Wow.

You’ve probably seen this check to Verizon in an email before. It was written by the comic xkcd in response to George Vacarro’s discovery that Verizon can’t tell the difference between 0.002 cents and $0.002. The whole story is at that link, but this recording of the call says it all (it’s 27 minutes long, even though the player says over an hour). Very much worth the listen. Mind boggling!

I was reading about how text messages are a ripoff, and I noticed that the AT&T excerpt says, “.20 cents per text message.” That’s for the iPhone. For the rest right now it’s even cheaper at .15 cents per text! Really? Why am I paying $5 a month for 200 messages when I can get them for $0.30?

Here is the conversation that ensued with AT&T customer service. I asked—Jessica J. did not work at Verizon before. Amazing…AT&T are idiots too!

Thank you for your patience! An AT&T sales representative will be with you shortly.
You are now chatting with Jessica J., an AT&T sales representative.
Jessica J.: Welcome to AT&T online Sales support. How may I assist you with placing your order today?
A.J.: Hi. I was wondering what the price for text messaging is if I do not get a text plan.
Jessica J.: The standard rate for a text message is .15 cents a message sent or received.
A.J.: The automated “chat” said .15 cents. Is that true???
A.J.: 0.15 cents per message.
Jessica J.: We also have different packages available also
Jessica J.: Messaging 200 is $5.00 and includes 200 Text, Video, Picture or Instant Messages.
Jessica J.: Messaging 1500 is $15.00 and includes 1500 Text, Video, Picture or Instant Messages.
Jessica J.: For $20.00 a month, you have the freedom to message any way, to any one - text, picture, video and IM - without worrying what each message costs. That means every message counts the same. You can send and receive any combination of messages.
A.J.: I currently have a plan and I have the 200 messages for $5 package.
A.J.: Can I drop that package and get 0.15 cents per message?
Jessica J.: Do you feel that the 200 is enough?
A.J.: If, without a package, text messages are 0.15 cents each, then I would rather do that.
A.J.: Will I get the same rate even though I am an existing customer?
Jessica J.: Yes How many messages do you send a month?
A.J.: About 200.
Jessica J.: It will save you money you keep the plan
A.J.: Not at 0.15 cents per message.
A.J.: That comes to 30 cents for 200 messages.
A.J.: I would rather pay 30 cents a month than 5 dollars a month.
Jessica J.: Actually the price would be $30.00 a month without the messaging plan
A.J.: You said 0.15 cents per message, right?
A.J.: 0.15 cents multiplied by 200 is 30 cents.
Jessica J.: Correct
A.J.: So it would be 30 cents a month if I sent 200 messages right?
Jessica J.: It would be $30.00 you are saving $25.00 a month on the messaging
A.J.: May I ask if you have ever worked for Verizon?
Jessica J.: No I have not worked for them
A.J.: Oh, sorry, something reminded me of someone that worked for Verizon. Anyway…
A.J.: I am having trouble understanding, if each message is 0.15 cents, how does it cost $30 for 200 messages?
A.J.: Are you sure you do not mean that each message is 0.15 dollars?
Jessica J.: One message equals .15 cents so you multiply .15 by 200 and you get 30.00
A.J.: 30.00 CENTS
A.J.: think about it
Jessica J.: give me one second
A.J.: sure
[this wait lasted a good 3 minutes]
Jessica J.: A.J. what I would recommend is you keep the $5.00 messaging package because if you decide to remove the package you will be charged .15 cents a message sent or received which you send about 200 messages a month then your bill would be $30.00 a month
A.J.: I still don’t understand.
A.J.: Are you sure you don’t mean that each message is 15 cents. As in 0.15 DOLLARS. $0.15???
Jessica J.: That is correct
A.J.: Please tell me again how much each text message costs.
Jessica J.: The cost for each individual message is $0.15 cents a message
A.J.: Wait… $0.15?
A.J.: or 0.15 cents?
A.J.: or both? 0.15 dollarcents?
Jessica J.: Both the amount equals the same
Jessica J.: If you make 200 messages at 15 cents per messages it comes out to be $30. With out plan for 200 messages it will only be $5 a month. This will help you save money.
A.J.: How much does a soda cost? 50 cents right?
Jessica J.: Correct
A.J.: If I send you a soda, will you send me $50?
Jessica J.: If you want you do not have to keep a messaging plan. If you wanted to get ride of that plan all you would have to do is call customer service and take it off your account.
A.J.: Ok, so according to the last thing you wrote, each text message is 15 cents. Not 0.15 cents. Is that correct?
Jessica J.: That is correct.
A.J.: Thank you for the clarification. I will keep my current package.
A.J.: Please advise your supervisor to update your materials.
Jessica J.: I apologize for all the confusion today. Is there anything else I can assist you with /
Jessica J.: ?
A.J.: 0.15 cents per message is a lot cheaper than $0.15 per message.
A.J.: Nope, thanks. Have a good afternoon.
Jessica J.: Thank you for choosing AT&T. Have a great day.

Mitch’s parents were kind enough to have us over for their annual crawfish cookout eatathon. Deeelicious fun. Below are all the things Bubba forgot you can do with shrimp, except with crawfish.[This post is rated M for Mature].

“Get the f away from me” crawfish.

Edward crawfish fingers.

Doggy style crawfish.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tuffy McFucklebee has hereby invented the vertical jowler!!! The VertJowl™ © patent pending.

Moment of first inception.

First production run.

Also, the band Birdlips has filed an improvement to the original jowler with the addition of a fist to the scene. The knockout jowler. Unfortunately another local band Straight Punch to the Crotch failed to incorporate this improvement in their versions, even though Punch is in their name.

Birdlips’ Lindsay on a knockout jowler.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0617081secrets1.html

Big Bird, are you from 19th century Japan?

In early 19th-century Japan, it became fashionable for the culturally sophisticated theatergoing population of Edo to entertain themselves at parties by imitating the voices and gestures of famous actors. As this fad spread, people began to expand their repertoires by mimicking animals, and as animal poses became all the rage at parties, writers and artists collaborated to produce illustrated books containing model examples of these poses…

In the 21st century, it became fashionable for the culturally unsophisticated bar-going population of Silicon Valley to entertain themselves at work by imitating big birds.

via Pink Tentacle (more pictures)

A Dule update for mom and dad, since they don’t facebook.

She still likes her veggies … eating cauliflower here.

She loves being chased by other dogs. But a rake will do. (This is from a month ago so she’s bigger now).

Hampton in the crate with Dule.

She got a stripe of darker short hair down her back that’s spread now so she’s all scraggly looking.

It’s funny because they’re really speaking Japanese and it all makes sense. And the commercial is so true.

(Damn Hulu pre-rolls)

via Emily

UPDATE:

How much would you pay to fly AJ out for B2B: $25, $50?  Let me know ASAP if you’re in! ***Um, that’s a good question. Let’s see….

The meeting place:

We will meet at the corner of 3rd St. and Howard St. at 8:15 am Sunday to join the “race”. Note this is not the official starting area. Make sure you have a couple cell phone numbers to find people in case you’re late or things don’t go as planned. If you need my number, email me. Alternatively, feel free to come up the night before and spend the night, or come to our place early Sunday and take the MUNI light rail to the race with us. We will leave our place no later than 7:45am to catch a train from the Van Ness Station to the Montgomery Station. See Googe Transit for details and other travel options.

Getting stuff together:

We’ll be fixing up the carts (a milk carton and a breakfast table) starting Saturday at noon at Courtney’s Place in Noe Valley. Maybe we’ll put some food together (aka order take out from Eric’s) Saturday if you wanna come over. Oh, and we’ll need to test and mix up batches of “breakfest juice” and “milk”. Give me a call or shoot me an email if you plan on coming over to help out.

Also:

By the way, bring beer and snacks. Do not bring glass bottles or coolers (won’t fit in the cart).

Damn, they’re getting closer to stealing my idea. “They” is anyone else that knows how to program something. Here’s my idea…

You know those self-guided tours—like Alcatraz—where you carry around a little electroic doohicky, walk around, and it tells you about whatever you’re standing in front of?

If you replace the doohicky with a phone, you could listen to stories anywhere. Now that phones either have GPS or can geolocate (triangulation), knowing where you are is no problem. The “tours” could be produced by anyone. Anyone could upload a story or series of stories online, or by calling in to their account. If you call from the location you’re talking about, it could automatically mark the location, since your phone knows where you are.

“This pizza place is awesome after the bars. I’m wasted. By the way if you need to pee…I found this great secluded alley, behind the yellow trash can you can see from the corner.” The stories could be a little more compelling than that, obviously. It could even be categorized for more touristy stuff vs. every day stuff, by organization, or by topic… You could filter only points of interest left by some historical society, for example.

If you want to go on a walk about through the city, you could open the app on your phone and whenever you’re close to someone’s story/point of interest it would start playing their recording automatically.

So anyway, I just saw this thing called Geograffiti today that does something similar to my idea…or at least half of it. And I thought of this like 2 years ago. Seriously, I need to learn how to program, or find people that’ll work for me for free.