Chopstork

One of my favorites (even though I only did it once), Bring Your Own Big Wheel (BYOBW) is on this Sunday at 5pm. They moved it to Vermont St, on good old Potrero Hill. From the pictures last year on Lombard St, it looked like there were crazy huge crowds! Guess they messed up the foliage a little much and had to move.

Here’s us riding down Vermont St. In a car. After Monkey Bowls at Lingba. Scott frantically keeping us on the road.

I thought about trying to get a pillow fight going in Charlottesville—last year was the first I’d heard of the one in SF. But then I missed Valentine’s Day and figured I’d have to wait till next year. I just learned last week that International Pillow Fight Day is March 22.

So I’m getting together a Pillow Fight in Charlottesville … or trying. Cville is a small city, and I don’t know that many people to spread the word. If you know people here or are members of any sort of group, help me spread the word!

so this might be a terrible idea, but since we always have some sort of “drink dispenser” on our B2B treks, and making a soda fountain would take some serious time and money, what about buying one of these costumes: adult shake costume and putting it over a keg of beer… so we’re dressing up beer as a McD’s milkshake… and wheeling it around in a shopping cart… what size keg fits in a shopping cart? we can always get a child-size shake costume and put it over a pony keg. I think it would be kind of cute. child milkshake costume What do you guys think?

It’s that time of the year again, kids! The fantastic Bay to Breakers “race” across the beautiful city of San Francisco. And holy shmoley it’s only two weeks away. The usual spiel: get those McMaster-Carr orders in, find some shopping carts, start making costumes, start getting ready.

In case you haven’t heard already, our theme this year is:

Be a fast food mascot or anything related to fast food chains and the like. Ronald McDonald, Hamburglar, Grimmace, all those other McDonalds characters, Wendy, Dave Thomas, Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun (a multi-person costume perhaps, with the Voltron effect??!), the Arby’s oven mitt, Creepy (BK) King, Dan Cortese, milkshakes, soda, high fructose corn syrup, CORN (Big Bird?), fry girls … you get the idea.

Who wants to build carts? You do! You do! Who has ideas for carts? I’m thinking one of them (or both) needs big Golden Arches spinning up high on a PVC pipe so we can find our carts in the crowd. Turning one of them into a drive through has been brought up. One of them could also be a “soda” fountain a la lots-of-tubes-coming-out-of-big-buckets style. Old Man and Luke have graciously donated their garage(?) for cart-building. Well, now they have. I don’t know…call them or something…I live 3000 miles away, so don’t call me.

Discuss.

[More in this post]

DC vs SF UI—Overall, I say SF wins. It’s the original. But I can appreciate the fact that 600 people drinking on the street with shopping carts in tow is not acceptable to the DC police. SF cops are way cool about that stuff. I like that all 600 people stay together in the SF version too.

It was still fun—it’s the Urban Iditarod, how could it not be. I was pretty impressed with some of the costumes. The teams do go all out. I think our collective favorites were PacMan, the Pope and Pope’s secret service, and Double Dare. Except that the themes weren’t dog-related. Hello, Urban Iditarod? Here’s our sorry-ass cart:

The Animal Control idea didn’t pan out so well since no other teams were animals. Except one—there was a Zoo team. We stole their animals. They slimed our cart.

Here’s something cool: sabotage is encouraged. I didn’t like the idea at first, but it adds an interesting element of danger to the whole thing. Water balloons and eggs flying through the sky, people sneaking around with duct tape and cable ties, waterguns, vaseline slime. Fun. Apparently there were things hidden around each bar for bonus points too. We were busy figuring out how to enjoy our own beers between running, so no bonus points for us.

Anyway, here are pictures. Wow, there was a lot of squirt bottling going on after the race.

The west coasters are hard at work thinking up an Urban Iditarod theme. Laura and I will not be there this year (I’d insert a sad smiley here if smileys weren’t for sissies), but here is my contribution to a theme idea: “Jimmy P. and the Disco Dogs.” Dance included (at the beginning, and then around 4:15).

D.C. UI?

But here’s some good news: Jay P found a D.C. Urban Iditarod. He found it weeks ago and I just now remembered. It’s this weekend!!! Bust out the McMaster-Carr catalog! Find a shopping cart! Get some duct tape! Spread the word (we need a team)! We’re mushing on the east coast too!!!

When: 2:00 PM Saturday, March 3 2007
Where: starting at The Front Page, Dupont Circle, D.C.
Preps: We’re meeting at Bone’s aka Hampton’s place in Arlington Friday night to throw our cart and costumes together. Call me to come help.
THEME: We do not know yet. Any ideas? We could steal my Jimmy P. and the Disco Dogs idea. Or do a fire truck and dalmatians repeat? Reservoir Dogs? Make it easy and be a plain old Dog Pound so so everyone can be any old dog?

[Update] We’re keeping it simple and going with the dog pound. So all you have to do is be a dog. Or bring a big net and dress as animal control.

Hm, I just read a little of their web page, and I feel I need to dispell some of their “rules”:

• There are too many rules.

“The first Idiotarod started in San Francisco more than 10 years ago. Apparently they’ve gotten very lazy since then and never renewed their web site. Then some kids up in New York City took the idea and made it into a spectacular event.”

• NYC made it into a spectacular event? Please! They actually time and rank the teams. How can that be spectacular?
• What’s with all the talk of racing and sabotaging others’ carts? It’s not supposed to be a race. Our team will not be there to win.
• Don’t worry about the 6-person limit. Our team will have as many people as will drink with us.
• I don’t know what all this map and clues business is—I say we sniff some butts and see where we end up.

So this pillow fight sounds like a lot of fun and all, but how come none of us thought to get tickets to this?

Woo at the Zoo

I think it sounds kind of interesting. But maybe that’s because I spent 4 years in central Illinois, where “the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep are scared.”

Seriously though, people in Illinois aren’t like that. Except maybe for DP (just kidding). You have to go way farther south for those people, below the mason-dixon line. Or over to West Virginia. Not that I have anything against WV or the people in it, except maybe for those who lie and have names that rhyme with “Stravis.” Anyway, I’m continually amazed at the eclectic range of activities San Francisco has to offer.

I think I’m only posting this much because I miss AJ and The King. Isn’t SF like the halfway point between VA and Japan? I’m thinkin a little Maher Family Reunion might be in order. And I’d like to think that my days of getting drunk and hitting on my friends’ fathers are over, so you can totally invite me.

I expect you guys in SF to participate and take pictures and bring back stories:

Pillow Fight, Web Feb 14, the plaza at Embarcadero and Market.

Pillow Fight Returns

SF Chronicle - Hundreds attend mass pillow fight

There were two used tapes from the confessional booth Sunday morning. I thought that was weird since there were only two new tapes left out of a five-pack. Hmm… We watched the two tapes, and they each only had 2 minutes on them. Someone took one of the tapes. What a dick move!

Oh wait, nooow I remember—I switched the first tape, and I hid it. Don’t worry, I found it eventually. You’ll get to see the clips…some day. How many more things do I not remember from the party?

Ran down to the corner during the beer run, got tired, and lay down on the sidewalk to take a nap. Check. Thanks, Janelle for waking me up.

Started the feud with Eli—he said, “180 degrees … or pi radians,” in reference to flippy cups. So I punched him. Check. I could have sworn he started it with his head butting. In the end Red Strawberry beat me up as his proxy.

Break danced in the foyer. Check.

Wrastled Zach. Actually that one I did remember. I did it because Laura told me to. Then she told me to stop. Cuz she didn’t want him to get hurt.

And of course everyone remembers the biggest game of beer bump ever. Congratulations to Mr. Cross—the new Beer Bump Champion of the Universe.

On Sunday when you’re all hungover from our party, we can check out Pedal Monster by Cyclecide. They’re throwing a festival at the Mission Village Market at 18th & Alabama in the city—”a freakish, pedal-and-contraption-centric carnival of stupid and epic proportions.” Last time I saw them it was a circus-rodeo full of crazy bikes, bike-jousting, and pedal-powered carnival rides that you’re not quite sure are safe to ride. From their press release:

Featuring:
-Cyclecide Rides & Sideshow, with Skits, Mutant Bikes, Rodeo Clowns, and punk rock mariachi band Los Banos

-An Only In San Francisco Circus Midway, with Wrong-Way Bike Games, Ornery Clowns Doing Incredibly Stupid Things, and Hot Utra Gypsy Bellydancers Selling Raffle Tickets for Mutant Bikes and Other Prizes.

-Interclub Tallbike Jousting, as seen on TV and in the 2003 film-festival hit documentary *Too Dumb To Die* — contestants include Neanderthals from out-of-town bike tribes, Doyle the 2005 World Tallbike Jousting Champion, and Gorgar the Vain and Belligerent Urine-Eating Monster

-Pervitadora Records’ Glen Meadmore — the Hot, Horny, and Born-Again Singing Cowboy

-The Life-Size Mousetrap — the Rube Goldberg-inspired creation based on the children’s board game but instead of a net at the end there’s a 2-ton safe that smashes things. With three-a-day performances by sexy mice, cranky blue-collar clowns, and the one-woman-band Esmerelda Strange

The Disgusting Spectacle — a Giant Head Sculpture that Picks its Own Nose with an Equally Giant Pointy-Fingered Hand, Powered by a Human-Sized Hamster Wheel

BMX Ramp Competition and Flatland Expo Presented by First Rule

Kielbasa, the Accordion-Playing Lunch Lady