Chopstork

…and I’m getting older too.*

I always thought I’d turn into my parents when I became a parent. But it turns out I’ve already turned into my parents. For the better part of the past year, I’ve chosen to eat lunch at my desk so I could read the Wall Street Journal on a regular basis (like my dad). I can’t watch TV unless I have a crossword puzzle on my lap, and I won’t buy anything at the grocery store that isn’t on sale (those I get from my mother). I still have yet to go to Las Vegas — where 20-somethings like to go wild and party all night — but I might go in 3 weeks. To visit my parents. They don’t live there, but they’ll be there at that time. So instead of breaking out my slut attire from college to dance the night away in trendy clubs, revved up on vodka-red bulls, I’ll be doing crossword puzzles by the pool with my mom, and discussing the stock market over gin and tonics with my dad. And I’m actually really looking forward to it.

Speaking of the stock market, I’m usually somewhat conservative with my choices, although I do go after trends (I recently made a few hundred bucks related to my love of White House | Black Market). But today I took my bit of caution and threw it to the wind when I bought $1,000 worth of stock in a company I know very little about (and couldn’t find much on). The reason? I’ve noticed a bunch of ridiculous vending machines popping up in stores and airports — selling anything from iPods to Proactiv solution. No coin return button on those babies — they work with credit cards only. And a few other companies that sell cheaper products in vending machines are looking at CC-friendly machines in the near future as well. So I found the company that makes a majority of those particular credit card readers, and bought stock. It’s an interesting idea, but it could cost me some bucks. Time will tell! I guess since I never go to Vegas, I’ve got to get my gambling kicks in somehow, right?

*nothing makes you feel older than quoting Fleetwood Mac. except maybe having a stroke.

So this pillow fight sounds like a lot of fun and all, but how come none of us thought to get tickets to this?

Woo at the Zoo

I think it sounds kind of interesting. But maybe that’s because I spent 4 years in central Illinois, where “the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep are scared.”

Seriously though, people in Illinois aren’t like that. Except maybe for DP (just kidding). You have to go way farther south for those people, below the mason-dixon line. Or over to West Virginia. Not that I have anything against WV or the people in it, except maybe for those who lie and have names that rhyme with “Stravis.” Anyway, I’m continually amazed at the eclectic range of activities San Francisco has to offer.

I think I’m only posting this much because I miss AJ and The King. Isn’t SF like the halfway point between VA and Japan? I’m thinkin a little Maher Family Reunion might be in order. And I’d like to think that my days of getting drunk and hitting on my friends’ fathers are over, so you can totally invite me.

if I had more time right now, I’d fix it so the video played automatically. I’ll rely on the next person with free time to dork out (ahem, Luke, AJ) to do that for me. Anyway, it is the OK Go dance performed by two figure skaters. As with any figure skating routine, it is completely ruined by the commentary. But still a cool idea.

By the way, I really love my new Jesus / Last Supper bag. It’s already come in handy. That Jesus. He’s good for everything.

So because Courtney was gracious enough to let me crash at her place last night and we carpooled to work this morning, I find myself in B/149 strangely early for the Tuesday 9am meeting. Since my office is up north and they don’t have a computer down here for me yet, there is little I can do until 9, except play around on Luke’s computer. When I sat down in his cube, the first thing I noticed (other than the smell) was the Space Power Systems training course award with A.J.’s name on it. That momento of everybody’s favorite non-jewish half-asian brought forth all sorts of feelings… a tear to my eye, an ache in my heart, maybe even a little warm in the pants… (just kidding). Looking around the rest of Luke’s cube, I see a 2003 calendar (only 2 days off!!), several post-it messages, and a really cool F-16 poster that I want. I also see that Luke has erased all the nice things I wrote about myself on his dry erase board. And I’m willing to bet that the last time he cleaned out his NSS-6 mug the calendar was accurate.

Hm… does anybody know why there is a complete spice rack in Luke’s cube? Me neither.

Anyway, now I’m off to prepare for today’s meeting, and then for a glorious day at Photonics West. So Luke, thank you for unknowingly permitting me to use your computer. AJ and Laura, thank you for being awesome. Court, thanks for putting me up last night. Wolfson, thanks for being everybody’s favorite jewish asian, even though your presence on Chopstork has been all sorts of lacking. Peterman, thanks for being my favorite jew. Have you hooked up with any of my Chicago girlfriends yet? Me neither.

so I was digging around tonight trying to gather all my snowboard gear for Tahoe, and I came across my camelback. judging by its contents, the last time I used it was at Bay To Breakers (the vodka redbull served me well). anyway, at the very bottom of the zippered pouch was a crumpled up, thin cotton-and-nylon navy blue GAP windbreaker. I have no idea who it belongs to, but I’m hoping somebody reading this will claim it. (It is a very unisex-looking item, so I doubt Eli is interested). Courtney? Keri? Laura? I feel pretty dumb, because I can vaguely remember somebody asking me if I had this in my possession — an inquisition I denied. But I can’t remember who it was that asked. Would this be an acceptable time to play the Stroke Card?

In other news, I very much miss AJ and Laura. I have yet to make it to Old Man and Luke’s place, because said no-talent ass-clowns decided to move to bumblefuck. Considering how often they were too lazy to walk downhill to my place, I am definitely too lazy to walk uphill, over the river, and through the woods to get to theirs. Unless they get a ping pong table. Or another hot tub.

Speaking of laziness… Live from the couch, it’s Christine and Gina!! After failed trial periods with Netflix (mailboxes are hard to come by in this neighborhood), frustration with Blockbuster (too far + “restocking” fees = F no), and one or two unimpressive trips to the neighborhood video store, we have discovered the beauty that is Comcast On Demand. It is fantastic. For just four bucks, you don’t have to retrieve or return shit. You don’t even have to get up from the couch. All we need now are some shirtless men to cook us dinner while we catch up on all the movies we wanted to see…

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236201,00.html

AJ, if you can’t find a good job in VA, maybe you should start painting with your ass.

so I just read the email AJ & Laura sent out, asking us to help them move. it made me so sad. I really, really don’t want them to leave. after saying goodbye to Wolfson, Jay, Janelle, DP, and Irene, and now AJ & The King, the Bay Area is starting to feel less awesome. other than attempt to avoid severe medical trauma, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with my time in 2007. any ideas?

so this year for Thanksgiving a few of us went out to a nice fancy dinner, then came back to my (and Gina’s) apartment to hang out. it wasn’t too long before the infamous drinking hats made their appearance… I realized just how difficult it is to drink from a wine glass when wearing a football helmet. thankfully, straws were on hand. I would have switched to my tiara, but Luke broke it. anyway, we were playing a board game called Battle of the Sexes, and when Luke and Tony were asked a question about bra sizes, I knew it was time to press record…

Too bad the batteries went out before we started playing Dance Dance Revolution…

alabaster cleaners has secured a spot in my heart. everything came back, all nicely bundled. I took a blurry picture. check it out:

I’ve discovered a new way of making myself happy throughout long and tiresome days.  Go to YouTube and do a search for “Ask a Ninja.”  There’s a whole series.  Here’s my favorite so far:  Master of Disguise

Enjoy!