Chopstork

Tuffy McFucklebee has hereby invented the vertical jowler!!! The VertJowl™ © patent pending.

Moment of first inception.

First production run.

Also, the band Birdlips has filed an improvement to the original jowler with the addition of a fist to the scene. The knockout jowler. Unfortunately another local band Straight Punch to the Crotch failed to incorporate this improvement in their versions, even though Punch is in their name.

Birdlips’ Lindsay on a knockout jowler.

Big Bird, are you from 19th century Japan?

In early 19th-century Japan, it became fashionable for the culturally sophisticated theatergoing population of Edo to entertain themselves at parties by imitating the voices and gestures of famous actors. As this fad spread, people began to expand their repertoires by mimicking animals, and as animal poses became all the rage at parties, writers and artists collaborated to produce illustrated books containing model examples of these poses…

In the 21st century, it became fashionable for the culturally unsophisticated bar-going population of Silicon Valley to entertain themselves at work by imitating big birds.

via Pink Tentacle (more pictures)

A Dule update for mom and dad, since they don’t facebook.

She still likes her veggies … eating cauliflower here.

She loves being chased by other dogs. But a rake will do. (This is from a month ago so she’s bigger now).

Hampton in the crate with Dule.

She got a stripe of darker short hair down her back that’s spread now so she’s all scraggly looking.

It’s funny because they’re really speaking Japanese and it all makes sense. And the commercial is so true.

(Damn Hulu pre-rolls)

via Emily

Damn, they’re getting closer to stealing my idea. “They” is anyone else that knows how to program something. Here’s my idea…

You know those self-guided tours—like Alcatraz—where you carry around a little electroic doohicky, walk around, and it tells you about whatever you’re standing in front of?

If you replace the doohicky with a phone, you could listen to stories anywhere. Now that phones either have GPS or can geolocate (triangulation), knowing where you are is no problem. The “tours” could be produced by anyone. Anyone could upload a story or series of stories online, or by calling in to their account. If you call from the location you’re talking about, it could automatically mark the location, since your phone knows where you are.

“This pizza place is awesome after the bars. I’m wasted. By the way if you need to pee…I found this great secluded alley, behind the yellow trash can you can see from the corner.” The stories could be a little more compelling than that, obviously. It could even be categorized for more touristy stuff vs. every day stuff, by organization, or by topic… You could filter only points of interest left by some historical society, for example.

If you want to go on a walk about through the city, you could open the app on your phone and whenever you’re close to someone’s story/point of interest it would start playing their recording automatically.

So anyway, I just saw this thing called Geograffiti today that does something similar to my idea…or at least half of it. And I thought of this like 2 years ago. Seriously, I need to learn how to program, or find people that’ll work for me for free.

This is the first thing I could say in both Japanese and English…

The narrator at the end says to gesture like you mean it.

Spare me my life! I was robbed by two men!

Pants-peeing worthy.

via Tuffy

Our friend Lee, who is in the Navy Reserves and serving in Afghanistan right now wrote an article that is published in the Hook.

The LeaveMeAloneBox.

via engadget

Fridays After Five is a concert series during the summer in downtown Charlottesville, with concerts taking place every Friday (obviously) after work. For SFers, think Stern Grove, but much smaller/local acts and more mingling.

We decided we couldn’t wait for the season to start, so we put on our own rock concert. With Rock Band. At the Pavilion. “One Friday After Four-thirty.” The band is Panty Zamboni.

Prefuncing in the green room.

The roadies setting up.

Off to a rough start. The wind gave us some problems and the lyrics were illegible. Band manager: For our next gig we need sandbags and static lyrics mode on our rider.

Rocking out.

This would be Tea Bags’ final performance before his fatal heroin overdose.

Tea Bags. Almost passed out. Eating grass. If Bloc Party was on Rock Band, I could understand the confusion (”like eating glass” / “like eating grass”), but I’m not sure how this happened. …And then he passed out, like a true rock star.

Fans show up.

And we let them play. Cuz he can actually sing.

ROCK!!!!