Chopstork

I hate mail. I like email and gmail (pronounced “guh-male,” of course). The only unwanted things I get from them are the occasional offers to enlarge a piece of anatomy I do not possess. And I love how I can send a message to my best friend 2000 miles away, and she gets it near real-time. But nothing good ever seems to come out of USPS mail, nor does anything come in a timely fashion. Current case(s) in point:

1. My cowbell came today. A week later than it was supposed to. What the hell am I going to do with a coda percussion cowbell now?

2. I got a letter from Blue Cross, my HMO. They sent me a form that pretty much wants to know if my stroke happened as a result of “an accident in which another party may be responsible for payment.” Apparently, they want to get out of the near $300k they spent to save my (priceless) life. Too bad for them this was the wrath of mother nature and not an auto accident, workplace accident, medical malpractice, or “slip and fall” (one of the potential reasons they listed). I wish them luck when they try to sue God.

3. I got two letters from the San Francisco DPT. One for parking in front of my house for longer than 2 hours at a time, and one for street cleaning. F-ing street cleaning. Church Street still looks dirty to me. And how do they know how long I’ve been parked for? Is that douchebag in the makeshift golf cart stalking me?

I think I’m done ranting now. Time to watch “So You Think You Can Dance?” (fun useless trivia tidbit: last season’s winner was a guy from Sunnyvale. a friend of mine from work knows him. he’s hot, but his sexual orientation is rather ambiguous)

Oh, and does anyone ever see that Piper girl from B2B? I have her black hoodie (which is so obviously a woman’s garment). I don’t know who she is… my only encounter with her involved standing in an awkward pose while reinflating the back of her horse.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 25th, 2006 at 8:32 pm and is filed under Whatever, the everyday mundane. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.