Chopstork

Who bites people??!! Look closely; you’ll see that she had a whole freak’en mouthful of my shoulder. Seriously, I had bite marks for a week! This is not an isolated incident.

Yeah yeah, another writing about poo? Tell people to quit leaving their crap (literally) everywhere and I’ll stop writing about it.

There was a semicircular smudge of what I assume was poo on the toilet seat. WHY?

The figure below shows a toilet with it’s critical dimension, the hole. Also shown is the mating part, the mystery pooper. Let’s call it a press fit for the poo in the person. The goal here is to clear the toilet’s hole. Diameter of the hole is nominally 8.5 in. 8.5 - 1.0 = 7.5 MMC. 7.5 - .5 = 7 virtual condition. Poo is 1.0 + .5 = 1.5 on the big side. 7 - 1.5 = 5.5 inches. Mystery pooper has to hit a 5.5 inch target at worst. If he poops smaller, he can be that much further off-center. That is very doable. Millions of people do it every day. There should be no poo on the toilet seat. Please.

After much deliberation (not really) I selected this beauty as Picture of the Week. Never before has a man demonstrated such latent athleticism with so much disregard for his Frank and Beans. I’m not sure if I should cheer in amazement or cry in disbelief. In any case, this shot is merely a prelude to a fun filled evening with 20 odd men and 7 brave women. See the Runner Up.

I’ve been saying this for years, but now according to Tracey Lomrantz of the New York Daily News, it’s official.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

“A nerd is an excellent provider and a guy who puts you first,” says E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine’s love and sex advice columnist. “He’ll turn out to be a great father and a great husband.”

And, she insists that a woman who is willing to stick it out with a nerd and get past his quirks will be handsomely rewarded. “Don’t give up on him too fast,” she said. “If you stick with him, he’s going to turn out to be really great.”

She even alludes to our sexual prowess:

When it comes to the between-the-sheets aspect of the relationship, Carroll agreed that a girl couldn’t do much better than a less-than-perfect male specimen. “We’ve all been to bed with the guy who is worried about what he looks like, checking the mirror before he gets in bed,” she said. “The nerd, gloriously, stunningly, perfectly, is into the woman. That right there is very stirring, sexually.”

So I’ll say it again: Nerds Make Better Lovers.

So this guy, Paul Rademacher, has brought together two great sites: Google Maps and Craigslist Housing. Specifically, his site, Housing Maps, displays Craigslist housing adds on a GoogleMap. Very cool.

Bodo’s Bagels on the Corner is opening? Today?!? Ok, so only maybe three of you get why this is a big deal…if it’s true. Bodo’s Bagels is a bagel place (duh) in Charlottesville. Two have been open in town for a long time and do huge business. A third on the Corner has had various “Coming,” or “Coming Soon” signs since our first year at UVA. Smart people could go to undergrad and get a PhD in that time. Every couple years there was a rumor: “Bodo’s is really opening this time.” And a rumored excuse: “He’s not opening because his ex-wife would get the profits.” It’s almost become a C-ville landmark. A legend. There’s a “The Corner Bodos Is Just Messing With Our Minds” club on thefacebook. People used it to pull an April Fools prank last year. See, it was almost opening last year too.

Here’s a much better story on Bodo’s background.

We shall soon find out - is the Corner Bodo’s really really opening this time?

6/16/05 Update: Bodo’s really opened yesterday. Hallelujah.

Summer’s heating up and what better way to enjoy it than with a new toy. What do you say dorks? Let’s build it!

http://www.ultimatewatergun.com/instructions.php

Okay, maybe not. Just thought it was appropriate for the site.

This week the Picture of the Week goes to Jeanette, Jason, and Jen. The back drop is Bay to Breakers 2005, near the end of the “race”, and everyone lost and amuck somewhere. These three seem to be taking everything in stride. Of course, they’re all quite drunk.

Once upon a time I was walking by an Abercrombie & Fitch store in the mall, and I noticed a somewhat hot girl standing there alone. I thought, “Hm, kind of hot, but a little too cracked-out-model-ish. And why’s she standing like that? What a freak.” Until Laura started laughing because there was half naked dude in the other door. She explained to me that A&F hires pretty people to stand outside their stores and be pretty. Pretty retarded. I had no idea.

So I propose that one weekend we need to get some beach chairs and beers, go to the mall, park ourselves in front of an A&F, and watch the models. They’re there to be seen, so we shall look at them. Who’s in?

Dan, Britt, Laura, and I started trying to figure out how big a google is. A googol is “1” with a hundred “0”s. That is a lot. What’s there a googol of on earth? Ants? Grains of sand? Dan said nothing; said there aren’t even a googol atoms on earth. The rest of us politely disagreed. Not a googol on all of Earth!? A mole is 6.02×10^23 molecules, and a mole of salt is nothing. Surely a googol atoms exist on Earth. After much googling, Dan found that there are only 4×10^79 hydrogen atoms in the UNIVERSE. And hydrogen is 90% of the universe. So we lost. There are a googol of nothing on Earth.

But that is almost a googol hydrogen atoms…right? We next considered the parts of the atom. There are about 10^9 photons and neutrinos for each hydrogen atom, more googling tells us. That gets us to 10^88 photons, neutrinos, and hydrogen atoms. Sounds close, but it’s not. We still need one trillion universes to get a googol of those atom parts!!! DAMN! That order of magnitude stuff really messes you up. No wonder they invented log-log paper.

Next we got a little abstract and counted time. How many nano seconds since the beginning of the universe? 10^9 nanoseconds per second * 10^2 seconds per minute * 10^2 minutes per hour * 10^1 hours per day * 10^3 days per year * 10^10 years since the creation of the universe = 10^27 nanoseconds. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! And that is overestimating. Then, the geniuses we are, we figured it out. There are a googol one-googoliths of a second in one second. In the time you read this, about 45 googol googoliths of a second went by. You can read our paper in the next issue of the journal Nature.