Chopstork

The time is here. 5 years in the making … er, 5 years in the dreaming and we haven’t made the chopstork yet (the eating thing, not this website). It’s time to mobilize. The chopstork NEEDS VOTES.  http://www.quirky.com/projects/10

If it wins, they’ll actually make the thing!!! Get on it! Create a Quirky account and vote for the Chopstork. Only have 2 days!

Um, that’s a good question. Let’s see….

The meeting place:

We will meet at the corner of 3rd St. and Howard St. at 8:15 am Sunday to join the “race”. Note this is not the official starting area. Make sure you have a couple cell phone numbers to find people in case you’re late or things don’t go as planned. If you need my number, email me.

Alternatively, feel free to come up the night before and spend the night, or come to our place early Sunday and take the MUNI light rail to the race with us. We will leave our place no later than 7:45am to catch a train from the Van Ness Station to the Montgomery Station. See Googe Transit for details and other travel options.

Getting stuff together:

We’ll be fixing up the carts Friday around 2ish and Saturday around noonish at Courtney’s Place in Noe Valley. Maybe we’ll put some food together (aka order take out from Eric’s) Saturday if you wanna come over. Oh, and we’ll need to test and mix up batches of “punch”. Give me a call or shoot me an email if you plan on coming over to help out.

The Theme:

If you haven’t heard yet, our theme this year is Under the Sea.  Also, remeber to bring beer and snacks. Do not bring glass bottles or coolers (won’t fit in the cart).  Also, please respect the new B2B guidelines so we can do this all again next year. Register, don’t pee on strangers property or strangers, and pick up after your self.  Read more about the new guidlines here.

Lastly:

Invite your friends!

This blog suffers due to the popularity of Facebook as our friends’ online destination. It’s so much easier to post 160 characters of nonsense than to write a whole paragraph too.

Please allow me to introduce the Automachine. This little slice of genius will soon be coming to a Yellow House party near you, assuming I am allowed anywhere near the computer. In its purest form, this essentially allows an iPhone-endowed person to rock the party ’til the breaka’ breaka’ dawn from their palm.

March 1

Dule is a bitch. No really, I am. 10:57pm

Fetch
I started learning to fetch. I can put the ball in A.J.’s hand now.

April 1

More fetch
I did more fetching. This time outside! But then I got distracted by the ground and quit. Dirt is fascinating.

April 2

Dule is I need to pee. I need to pee. I need to pee. I need to pee.

Dule is aaaahhhh, sweet relief.

Dule is destroying the bone. Destroy!

sit? down?
Still a little confused what “down” is. Thought I knew it last week.

April 3

Dule is hyper.

bed

April 4

Humpy wants me

Dule is chewing.

April 5

Dule is tired from playing with Afton.

April 8

Dule is panicking because the treat is stuck in the Orbo.

April 9

orbo
Wow. I’ve figured out that holding the orbo by the small end and shaking = food appears on the floor. No more random batting-around.

Dule is chewing.

oh poop
I think I pooped my crate today. Then I think I ate it. Cuz when Laura came home, it smelled like poop, but the poop was gone.

Dule is scheming when I can next pee in inappropriate places.

April 10

Dule almost scratched A.J.’s eyeball out. That woke him up.

April 12

Dule pooped upstairs … in bed.

Dule had a lovely time wandering around downtown all morning and meeting lots of strangers…in bed.

April 13

Dule decapitated and disemboweled her cat…in bed.

Dule dismembered her moose and is missing a tooth (unrelated) in bed.

April 14

LED Dog Tail Communicator probably just says: ‘Baaaaacon! Bacon bacon bacon!’

April 15

Dule has been told her next trick is to point at her own droppings in the yard for easy pick up.

April 19

food
I like dog food. It is good.

April 20

Stringy (by A.J.)
Once upon a time there was a dog. A dog named Dule.

Dule made a doodie. But the doodie stuck to her booty. She must have eaten some hair. Dule did not notice the doodie stuck on her booty.

Her owner tried to tell her. Dule was busy digging a hole.

Then Dule thought something smelled funny. She looked at her butt, where smelly things usually appear. There was a doodie! This scared Dule!

She ran and ran and ran around the yard. But this doodie was chasing her. She could not get away. She dragged her rear on the grass. But this doodie was stalking her. It would not go away. Her owner said, “I’m not wiping your butt; you better figure it out.” She ran and ran some more.

And finally it let go. And Dule was happy.

April 21

Dule is shedding.

Circles. Running away from the rake.

Dule has hiccups again.

April 27

Dule lost a tooth!

April 28

Dule is pooped from racing A.J. up and down the grassy knoll.

growing
Paws and nose suddenly huge. I can see over the counter tops now. Lots of things to steal up there.

Dule thinks Bitter Yuck is kinda sorta tasty.

May 3

Dule is wiped out from a walk downtown.

May 6

Dule ate $13 in Metro fare.

May 7

Dule discovered car sickness today … on Laura.

I heart hearts
I went to a place the humans call Richmond where someone put cold stuff on my chest and made pretty movies on a computer. They said my heart murmur is really unlikely to be a problem. Good, I won’t die. On the way there I vommed all over Laura’s lap. Carsickness! I need to chew my food better.

May 9

Dule smells really bad.

Dule is playing at Minnie’s.

May 10

Dule is hunting ants.

May 11

Dule is bitey again.

May 13

Dule is chewing on A.J.’s ripped jeans.

Dogs
Played and fetched and kissed and frolicked with Afton and another big black dog last night, and Barkley tonight. I like dogs. Barkley is a lazy fetcher just like me.

May 14

I like cauliflower

May 15

Dule was the biggest dog in her puppy class, but did not hurt anyone.

May 16

Puppy class
I had puppy class today. I was the biggest one. The leash wouldn’t let me go cuz I was too crazy. It turns out that I am very good playing with puppies. Except maybe the one puppy (Maggie?) that I chased around in circles whenever I could. Eh, she liked it.

I forgot how small and cute puppies are. I used to be that cute. It’s ok, I’m still cute according to the humans.

I’m not the loudest! Black lab was the loudest. I’m the second loudest. I am the most don’t-want-to-sit-still. Too much to play with!

Man in the oven
Someone is living inside the oven. I look at him and he looks back. He is not always there. When he is there he is always eating. When he speaks, his voice comes from the wrong direction. He sounds eerily similar to the human who feeds me.

May 19

Dule is better now and thanks Vicky, John, and Garbee for taking care of her.

May 20

Sick
I got sick this weekend after A.J. left me. It was either the pepperonis he fed me, or the dog poop I fed myself. I had diarrhea cha cha cha, and then vommed on Saturday. In my crate. Vicky got to clean it up. She is so nice. Then Garbee and Vicky took me outside and hosed me off. I did not like the hose. I had to eat chicken and rice for a day. Then I got better. My toys are outside still because they are infected with my grossness.

May 25

Dule is tired.

Old Rag
Climbed lots of rocks with Afton and Remmie. I am tired.

May 26

Dule wants to sleep all day.

Dule is a new fan of soup bones.

Fighting the sticky roller

May 27

Dule likes beer.

Dule has been banned from rawhides, but is a huge fan of the bully stick … which is made from bull penis!

May 29

Dule has to take medicine for a urinary tract infection.

Urinary tract infection
I have a urinary tract infection. The vet could tell because I’ve been licking my vulva. … what’s a vulva? A.J. followed me with a cup to catch my pee. That weirded me out. I have to take medicine now. I am expensive!!!

May 31

Dule is the reason nature invented velcro.

Gonna get fixed
It’s almost time to get fixed. Instead of an open surgery, I would like a laparoscopic ovariohysterectomy. Does anyone do those around here? I wonder if A.J. and Laura will pay for that.

I have hairs in front of my eyeballs too.

June 4

Dule is pooped from 2 days of doggy day care and thanks her friends for taking care of her again.

June 7

Dule is slowly turning gold.

June 11

Dule is STILL infected where she pees. And it’s gonna cost more money to fix it.

The birds and the squirrels
The creatures they call “bird” and “squirrel” want to play with me. They ask to be chased. I never noticed them before.

June 12

I like water.

June 15

Dule is: Chew ball. Drop ball under desk. Dig for ball. Human retrieves ball. Repeat. …Dig for ball. Turn off power strip. No more ball.

June 22

Dule is probably done with the UTI, but now has an eye infection. She likes to keep the humans poor.

June 23

Dule is off to the vet. Again.

Dule …who knew dogs can get conjunctivitis.

July 2

Dule does not like her new car harness.

Dule is looking forward to discovering the ocean this weekend.

July 3

Dule got her tongue bitten and bled all over the sidewalk.

Hole in my tongue
My walk was exciting today. A lot of people at the amphitheater. I ignored A.J. calling me back because they all wanted to play. Some birds swooped down and opened their wings at me. They must have wanted to play too.

On our way back a big golden retriever was sitting at the place they call Mellow. He sniffed my nose. I sniffed his nose. Then he got mad and snapped. He scared me, I jumped. Then A.J. looked at me and said I was bleeding, whatever that means. He said I looked like a vampire. The sidewalk was covered in red stuff. We made quite the spectacle. A vet I’ve met before looked at me too. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I’m hungry. When I drink, my water turns pink!

My tongue changed shapes some time today too. Feels weird. Whatever. I wanna go swimming.

July 4

Dule now has a deformed tongue.

July 6

Dule wants to stay at the eastern shore and did not realize dogs can’t walk on water.

Dule misses boozing it up at the Shore. It was delmarvalous.

July 10

Dule rolled in poop today. Sometimes dogs are retarded.

Dule has been eating all her meals. Another growth spurt?

July 16

Dule is scheduled to get her girl parts out. She hopes they don’t activate before then.

July 21

Dule thinks rabbits are fast.

July 22

Dule can’t figure out where the squirrels go after they hit the tree.

July 27

Dule is enjoying her last night with her girl parts :(

July 28

Dule is two ovaries and one uterus lighter. What were those for anyway?

July 31

Dule is feeling much better all of a sudden.

August 5

Dule is glad that A.J. is back and that her belly feels better.

Dule has soooooooooo much energy.

August 8

Dule caught a bird! Aah! On the Lawn! Its parents were not amused. It’s ok (maybe); it hopped away.

August 15

Dule is what the heck happened to the patio?Where did my weeds go?

August 19

Dule has lost some manners - so many people around this week untrained to train her.

August 25

Dule feels awkward walking around Grounds with students around. Like we don’t belong. Cuz we don’t.

rrrrrrr. rrrrrruhf. rrrrrRRRUF!

August 26

Dule Holy moly rabbits are fast!

Dule is clean. And pooped out.

September 4

Dule had an accident for the first time in several months :(. The vacuum cleaner literally scared the crap out of her!

September 7

Dule partied hard and has a sticky neck.

Dule is pretty sure she’s hung over.

September 9

Dule hopes the rain stops so she gets a walk.

September 11

Dule is a different shade of yellow from rolling in dirt all day.

September 12

After day care. I am dirty. Day care is fun.

Dule is a different shade of yellow from rolling in dirt all day…again.

September 13

Dule is salivating for some roasted pig.

September 14

Dule barely has the energy to get up and pee.

September 18

Dule stinks.

September 21

Dule beat Sergey to the name. http://too.blogspot.com/2008/09/about-th… og.html.

September 23

Dule has an ear infection. Stupid pool. What is it with me and my ailments?!?

September 25

Dule is meditating in the fall breeze.

September 29

Dule is turning white again?

October 2

Dule went to the groomer today. The groomer was bad and cut her hair too short. Dule is sad.

halloween and hairs
I have been waiting for Halloween for at LEAST half my life. I was going to be a punk rocker with my crazy hair spiked into a mohawk. Even go all the way down my back and be a punk stegosaurus.

Now I cannot.

Groomer cut the hairs off my head! She was only supposed to cut out my matted hairs. Zero of those were on my head. Stupid groomer.

Maybe I still have enough hair on the sides of my head to be Prodigy. I’M THE FIYAH STARTAH!

The Prodigy - Firestarter

October 7

Dule caught something out of the air for the first time ever! Maybe by accident.

October 11

Dule is tired of these damn fleas! They’re either Frontline-resistant or her owners are idiots.

October 12

Dule wonders if she should be a punk rocker for halloween, or the MGM lion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKTLqjpQO….

October 14

Fools.

October 16

Dule still does not grasp the concept of reflections in glass, but would make a half decent alarm dog if anyone was ever really there.

Dule went swimming in leaves.

October 18

Dule scavenged chicken bones at the tailgate and might have slipped some by A.J. Dule hopes her bowels remain intact.

October 21

Dule is in a hyperactive stage of her life again.

October 25

Dule is clean and flea-free (for now).

October 28

Dule is what’s a vote and can I eat it?

The left half is my style.

Dog to Unicorn Transformation Kit

October 30

Dule is contemplating killing you in the midst of the night…silent but deadly.

I am a blur of fur.

November 5

Dule bets the dog really did eat the homework. She for one luuuuvs paper.

November 6

Dule says Malia Obama knows what’s up.

November 11

Dule got humped in adolescent training class today and definitely did not like it.

November 12

Shiba Inu Puppy Cam>
They talked about doing this for me when I was little, but were too lazy.

November 16

Dule loves the taste of oozing toenail.

November 25

Dule is day care day care! Day care! day care!

November 26

Ridiculous. Where’s PETA?
Creative Grooming

Dule is confused why her toys and food are going into a bag.

November 27

Can I eat it?

Dule is turkey coma.

November 28

Dule made friends with two horses, but the cows across the street bother her.

November 30

Dule appreciates Laura and A.J. getting her huge sheets of plastic and blue tape to play with.

December 6

Dule discovered the tastiness of shoes because the humans were passed out all day.

Wanted - your other shoe - $50 (craigslist ad)
Looking for a female without a right leg or foot to buy your extra shoe. Must be missing right foot, not left. Need a Dansko “Professional Cabrio”, hickory color, size 41. If your left foot is the same size and you wear this shoe, I would like to buy your extra right shoe. My dog ate mine. I do not need the left shoe, the dog did not eat it.

December 7

ElfYourself

December 8

Dule likes the taste of pine tree in the evening. And in the morning. Mostly in my mouth.

December 12

Dule has been hit with the 1-2 punch of daycare and party again. She will see you when she wakes up in 2 days.

December 18

Dule is reflecting on her year in existence.

Dule ate her first shoe. One of Laura’s nicer shoes. I posted a craigslist ad for Laura, so if you know anyone…

Wanted - your other shoe - $50 (Charlottesville)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-12-06, 5:25PM EST

Looking for a female without a right leg or foot to buy your extra shoe. Must be missing right foot, not left. Need a Dansko “Professional Cabrio”, hickory color, size 41. If your left foot is the same size and you wear this shoe, I would like to buy your extra right shoe. My dog ate mine. I do not need the left shoe, the dog did not eat it.

* Location: Charlottesville
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 947814044

Laura finished day 1 of her comps today, so we were slumming it at Red Robin for dinner. 3 tables had birthdays in the time we were there, as evidenced by the gathering of the entire wait staff clapping and singing… 3 times.

Not nearly enough.

Enter Operation Birthday Bash. We shall make a field trip to Red Robin. We shall make a staggered entry and sit as separate couples and groups. We shall recruit acquaintances/co-workers/professors and their children so we’re not a conspicuous influx of 20-somethings all eating Red Robin on the same night.

And, of course, there will be a birthday at every table. And the wait staff will sing and clap. Over and over. It will be the happiest birthdayest night in the history of Red Robin.

It’s funny how hypocritical some bloggers and commenters are about these misplaced Yes on Prop 8 ads that appeared today all over the place. That example is not one of the hypocritical ones. If they don’t want the ads on their site, of course that’s cool.

It’s the ones that are all pissy about Google selling those ads at all that are funny. So Google should refuse to show things that you disagree with because you have personally deemed the other side “evil”? Yeah right.

Retro Kidz - New Era

Mystery Jets - Two Doors Down